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07/02/19
Schmuck the Jeweller
You’ve got to love a shopkeeper who reaches out to his customers. This pic was taken a few years ago when I was shopping for something nice for my beloved (at the time). In the end I got her a Hoover and, strangely, we parted company soon after that.
When I reach out to my friends I usually have a book in my hand, with the guarantee that their money will be well spent. It doesn’t always work. As many of you know, I have had to include these people as characters in my books in order that they purchase them. Not that that is the end of it. You then have to hope they will read your masterpiece. Typical comments from my nearest and dearest have been “I skimmed over it” and “I only read the parts that I was in.”
In these instances I can’t wait to reprise their appearance in one of my future novels, preferably as a deviant, child molester, serial killer or some other kind of monster. Of course, I know none of you would consider offending me in this way and that is why I know you will come to the conclusion that one of my books is never enough. Should you purchase the whole set, I will definitely consider putting you in my will.
When I reach out to my friends I usually have a book in my hand, with the guarantee that their money will be well spent. It doesn’t always work. As many of you know, I have had to include these people as characters in my books in order that they purchase them. Not that that is the end of it. You then have to hope they will read your masterpiece. Typical comments from my nearest and dearest have been “I skimmed over it” and “I only read the parts that I was in.”
In these instances I can’t wait to reprise their appearance in one of my future novels, preferably as a deviant, child molester, serial killer or some other kind of monster. Of course, I know none of you would consider offending me in this way and that is why I know you will come to the conclusion that one of my books is never enough. Should you purchase the whole set, I will definitely consider putting you in my will.
Written by:
Gerry Burke
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