Woof, woof, another gong for my dog stories. Although I expected these tales to be embraced by dog-owners, I didn't realise that the rest of you would be also entranced. No, I am not going to write a book about cats but it is a thought. The amount of money spent on our pets is mind-boggling. I can only thank you for your investment and hope you will take a look at some of my earlier tomes. Paddy Pest, the ...

Dogmatic by Gerry Burke is a delightful collection of humorous and heart-warming short stories that will captivate both dog lovers and those who appreciate clever storytelling. In this charming collection, Burke takes readers on a whimsical journey into the lives of various canine companions and their human counterparts. The stories are infused with humor and imagination, offering an entertaining exploration of the extraordinary adventures of dogs with unique personalities. Each tale is brimming with witty narratives and unexpected twists that ...

A good start considering DOGMATIC has yet to sail down the river of anticipation (Amazon). We will be online late September and a Pinnacle Achievement Award for the pre-production manuscript is all I could hope for. Thanks guys.

Gerry Burke offers readers an absorbing short story collection filled with dry humor and satire. No one is safe, and nothing is above being mocked as Burke refuses to pull his punches. He delivers a laugh-out-loud collection of short stories featuring a diverse breed of dogs, all of whom play vital roles in these tales. Dogmatic contains a potent mix of satire, absurdism, and dark comedy that you can't get enough of. The characters are intentionally over-the-top, and you'll easily ...

Meet Atticus, one of the protagonists in my forthcoming book about dogs. He neatly fits into a story that is time-warped back to days of yore. My friends lent me their woofers for interview purposes and I isolated their best adventures, which have never been told before; probably because nobody speaks to the animals like I do. You are going to have to wait a few months but the book of short stories is on the way.

We've started this journey on the right foot, and I hope to hear from my thirty-eight pals and two ex-girlfriends who appear in this gripping nail-biter. Certainly, I anticipate at least thirty-eight sales, here, and hope my friends will consider the book as an obvious Christmas present for their loved ones. With the Spring Racing Carnival upon us, I will be putting my literary career on hold, but hope to be reacquainted with you all in the New Year.

I love to include music in my stories. Although there's nothing to be heard, the imagery is there to be appreciated. In Sky Foil, I've gone down Mexico way. Jesus Garcia is not one of the good guys, but his guitar goes where he goes and his fellow conspirators are grateful for the diversion. Who was the last Aussie writer to headline characters from south of the border? Margarita Burrito and Tijuana Tony Lopez are two more key players to ...

The Pinnacles Achievement Awards are new to me but they tapped Citizen Vain on the shoulder - Best Book/Short Stories. I can hardly complain. Not everyone goes for quirky and many of the stories emanated out of Australia. I have listed one of my volumes as the Commuter's Companion and this is what short stories are all about. You can read one yarn on the way to work and another on the way home. I'm amazed they haven't approached me ...

Part of the Eric Hoffer Awards are dedicated to Cover Design and we made the finals. It wasn't a difficult task for me. I chose an appropriate library shot that epitimised one of the stories and there you go. What pleased me was that the artist came from the Ukraine. I hope she is safe and well amongst the turmail.

Don't mind Sarah Leone. She's got her knickers in a knot over something or other. The big news is that Citizen Vain has scored another short story gong, this time from the Book Excellence people, who are domiciled in Canada. I love Canucks. In fact, they are the focus of my next book, a conspiracy novel. Look for it later in the year.

Citizen Vain is a great piece of literary work featuring well-crafted stories with focused scenes and unpredictable endings. They are infused with realism and humanity and warn readers that our actions have consequences, and these consequences can be surprisingly bad. Readers will adore Burke's beautiful prose and his storytelling skill: each tale is absorbing, balanced, and deftly plotted.

The short list survivor has done it again and an award from the Best Books people will help sales no end. However, "Citizen Vain" may be a difficult book to promote as a gift. People can be offended so easily. Nevertheless, I feel sure they will enjoy reading about the exploits of such luminaries as Monty Carlow, Beverley Hills and Frank Sumatra. This is holiday reading of the humorous kind.

I say laugh through the pandemic; not at it. I'm glad the judges at the American Fiction Awards and the Book Excellence Awards agree. This is the third accolade for this book, after receiving a citation from the Best Book Awards, last year. I have been very happy since I switched back to the short story format, and I know my fans will be excited by the forthcoming "Citizen Vain."

Here in Australia, we have "the big banana," "the big pineapple," "the big prawn," etc. On my last book tour of California, I discovered "the big pizza." Certainly, this franchise is miniscule, compared to all the Mexican fast food outlets in the area, but what a venue for reading one of my short story compendiums. You order a glass of Chianti, wait for the pizza to be cooked in their hot oven, and reach the climax of a story as ...

This is Matthew, the monkey, one of my star turns in "My Book of Revelations." You would think he would be happy to share my delight at the positive response to my latest page-turner. In truth, all he cares about are bananas. That's life, I guess. Here's the review by Kate Robinson, who starts-off by quoting from my yarn about Paddy Pest and Stormy Weathers in Hollywood. The final story is a satire on the classic film "The Maltese Falcon." ...

Although, some people might be happy to be stuck by nurse Felicity. I always stick by my women, and give them plenty of exposure in my stories. Look for Melanie Marple, Eva Sullivan, and Reese Withers in my new book. I’m a new age guy and these girls know how to give as much as they get. There are also cameo appearances from Jane Honda and Billy Jo in her Tennessee Ernie Ford.

I've made so much money out of "The Europeans," I purchased my own restaurant. Only kidding! Nevertheless, Melbourne, before it became a ghost town, was the melting pot for so many different cultures and cuisines. In fact, my town is one of the great foodie destinations on this planet. So, I guess all my fans are wondering what I've got on my plate, right now. The answer is a new book, and it should be available before Christmas. I'm not ...

The Europeans are making their mark with another Finalist gong, this time from the American Fiction Awards. If you haven't been able to read a few good books during this lockdown period, you're not a serious bookworm. This yarn is not so serious, so give yourself a lift. You will not be disappointed.

I wrote this book in English instead of American and look where it has got me. The Book Excellence Awards are a Canadian organization, still faithful to Her Majesty, as we Australians are. This is my eighth "Finalist" award in various competitions and categories, and you have to think I will get to the top of the class one day. I haven't been lazy during this pandemic, and will soon have another offering for my humour-starved fans - a volume ...

Out of adversity comes opportunity and I am sure that in these troubling times, new frontiers will be forged. We will see people reading books like never before, and I only hope the new punters will opt for humorous content in order to give themselves a lift. My own library contains books on nearly every subject, and that is why I am regarded as a clever clogs, which is not necessarily a derogatory term. So, let's bunker-down and read a ...

And another closes. Sorry to hear that James Bond is suffering incurable cirrhosis of the liver, and that Maxwell Smart and Ninety-Nine have gone into a retirement village. My lovable rogue protagonist Paddy Pest frequently out-polled these two crime-fighting giants in the annual CIA(Criminal Investigators Awards) knees-up in New York. Certainly, the award for the most inept secret agent was always a thrilling tussle between Max and Paddy. A few years ago, I subjected Mr Pesticide to the most ignominious ...

Meet my first Book Club members in France. It was quite a few years ago and I had to overcome a bomb scare to be there. In those days, Paddy Pest was very much to the fore and these expatriots were hungry for any kind of literary stimulation that was written in English. Because I was wearing orange, they thought I was talking about Buddha Pest, but after I had plied them all with the local vino, they decided that ...

This is my first review for The Europeans and I'm pleased to say it has impressed. They base their marks on appearance, plot development, formatting, marketability and overall opinion, and my potboiler scored 5 stars for each of these hurdles. Now, jump to their overall comment: An accomplished work of drama penned with a keen cultural eye.When you consider that most people think I am a cultural dinosaur, I embrace this new tribute with glee and a limited amount of ...

This is Lydia. Yes, she’s a bit of a drama queen, but in this case her shock, horror disposition is well warranted. I’ve made it quite difficult for her, with multiple attacks on her person by a thoroughly nasty piece of work. Should this be a televised drama, she would be well-paid for her discomfit, but the characters in my books get paid nothing, although I have considered giving them a small share of my royalties. I know you will ...

As a writer, I don't like to be categorised. It tends to marginalize your demographics. People who had me down as a pulp fiction scribe, specialising in crime, were shocked when a Sci-Fi novel appeared on my resume. Now I've come up with a new direction - a saga of settlement Down Under. There's no need to be worried about this. I'm not. The humour is still there, and I still try and include creative ways to murder someone. It's ...

Is this the new cover? Perhaps! It is early but the editing is over and the production is ready to roll on another tale coming out of God's own country; a saga no less. Some of you will recognise familiar names, be they animal, vegetable or mineral. The human protagonists number three and they are Scottish, Irish and Greek. Has this ever been done before?Don't think I have reduced the action because I haven't. There's always room for the law ...

The target audience for my electrifying yarns has always been children under thirty. However, there has been quite a bit of violence and implicit sex in my recent novels and rather than produce an unexpurgated version of my tomes, I am looking at a new market; not that I am abandoning my present fan base, who can sign-on for a course at the Burke Adult Center. Burke Village is situated on the U.S./Canadian border in upstate New York.Yes, Canadians are ...

So does the author. I was chuffed to find a fan in the wilds of the Philippines during my last visit to Bohol Island. Yes, they had heard all about the garrulous gumshoe and read some of his outrageous adventures. This was a big commitment because the add-on freight charge on books delivered through Singapore is substantial. It has been gratifying to learn that my stories have found their way from Guam to Guatemala and I thank you all from ...

There are some locations on Earth where your Kindle or E Book reader doesn’t work so well. If we ignore the fact that the photo above seems to indicate that the author is reading his own book, we can see how strong natural light would make an electronic device ineffective; and also a bit messy after you have returned from your swim. Your device is also unwieldy if you wish to read during sex or other physical activities.Actually, quite a ...

Of the ten books that I have written, the above remains the most popular. When I wrote it in 2012, it wasn’t such a big deal. Then Paula Hawkins wrote her best-seller, “The Girl on the Train,” in 2015 and my sales took-off.Sure, one doesn’t always get what they think they are getting, but isn’t this an indictment on one’s concentration span? People are not paying attention. I experience this every day, especially with communications via mobile phone. I continually ...

Last week I was motoring through the hinterland on the Sunshine Coast of Queensland, when I saw this sign. I thought to myself “Why did I stop writing Paddy Pest yarns” After all; when something works, why change it?In truth, there is something in us all that craves change and I believe this is the reason I gave Paddy a rest and embraced new challenges. The first test was to graduate from short stories to full-length novels. For an advertising ...

Here we go again – another Finalist Award. This time I have been honoured by The Book Excellence Awards in Canada for “Be Dead and Be Damned.” I’ve always liked Canadians and consider them to be discerning people in many areas. And you can’t argue with their contribution to the arts – what an exciting experience to hear a Mountie singing on a horse.In this instance it’s a three-peat, as “The Replicants” and “The Snoodle Contract” also picked up this ...

In Australia it’s too cold to do anything else. On the other side of the world it’s too hot. The above picture takes me back two years when I was bedded down in the Victorian snow fields. The drizzling rain had made the slopes uncomfortable and the barman’s strike at my lodge gave me few options. At the time I was weaning myself off the enduring adventures of Paddy Pest and looking for an alternative bunny to share some of ...

You’ve got to love a shopkeeper who reaches out to his customers. This pic was taken a few years ago when I was shopping for something nice for my beloved (at the time). In the end I got her a Hoover and, strangely, we parted company soon after that.When I reach out to my friends I usually have a book in my hand, with the guarantee that their money will be well spent. It doesn’t always work. As many of ...

Of course, my book wasn’t written about 2018. I take my readers way back to the sixties but, even then, a dog’s most defining characteristic was loyalty. You’ll find none of that in “Be Dead and Be Damned,” as most of the characters would kill you after they’ve kissed you; the art of the double-cross is grist for the mill for crime novelists.Would you accept a gratuitous brandy cleanser from a Chinaman with a dubious reputation? Certainly not, if you ...

Or two! There are so many little nooks and crannies where you can bump someone off without fear or favour. It may be the world’s most liveable city but people also die here – quite often.“Be Dead and Be Damned” pulls no punches and I don’t subscribe to the politically correct world we now live in. In my book the wops do most of the killing and that’s how it was in the sixties. Hello mafia. Lock up your daughters. ...

The whodunit has received a recommendation from U.S. Review – this means the top 10% of material they review. I’m pretty happy with that. Here it is:Be Dead and Be Damned: Murder with Malice in Melbourne by Gerry BurkeiUniverse reviewed by Joe Kilgore "Then, of course, there were the lads back in the squad room. Naturally conservative, they would find it difficult to comprehend the motivation of a man wearing a dress." If you’re familiar with Burke’s previous work, you ...

There are a few people who have a nose for trouble. The Belgian detective, Hercule Poirot is one. I am another. There are also certain places that attract people with murder on their mind, such as Marrakesh and Casablanca, where Signor Ferrari, owner of the Blue Parrot bar & café, gave Humphry Bogart such a hard time. Jimmy Stewart and Doris Day also had their troubles but as Doris so eloquently warbled “Que Sera Sera” (Whatever will Be, Will be).I ...

You’ve just spent Christmas with all your rellies and what is foremost on your mind? That’s right – murder. Since my heroic crime-fighter Paddy Pest took a well-earned rest from his pulp fiction adventures, the odds of getting away with murder have firmed dramatically. However, all that is about to change. Appointing Dave Klingendorf as the acting deputy commissioner was the smartest thing the Victoria Police ever did. Now we have a whodunit which is worthy of your leisure hours. ...

Tony the Toothpick, Sammy the Snake and Dom the Cat! Tony sticks a toothpick in his victim’s nose after he has stabbed them in the back. Unsocial behaviour is part of their charm and you’re going to love all the mischief they get up to. You’ll need a nailfile to clean-up after you have whittled away at your fingertips, because the suspense in this one is riveting.The tome is called Be Dead and Be Damned and I’ll have more for ...

We’ve done it again; another finalist award, our 6th. I don’t know what it takes to win the big one but I’ll keep trying. In any case I am chuffed to be awarded in the Science Fiction category because this is not my genre and it was my choice because it was a challenge.So much for “The Replicants.” This week I put my next novel into production and I am returning to crime fiction. You will hear more in next ...

The stars are out and shining on yours truly as I stump up for another novel, almost ready to go into production. There’ll be more on that later; meanwhile, think about reading my one venture into science fiction. I don’t think they’ll let me go there again.CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 5 STAR REVIEW.Reviewed By Christian Sia for Readers’ FavoriteThe Replicants by Gerry Burke is a gripping sci-fi story with a well-defined setting and great characters. The planet Schmoo, the last planet ...

My God, I think he’s talking about me. Yes, the US Review had a look at The Replicants and decided to give it the thumbs up. I’m so excited. They checked out the first chapter, last month, and decided to read on. I hope you have a similar attitude. Of course, you may have to read the book with the lights on because it gets scary in some places. Aliens with three eyes are always a worry. So, here’s the ...

I’ve been reviewed and, once again, the US Review has been kind. Of course, this is only a first chapter review and I anticipate that a full review will arrive within the next few months. Here’s what they had to say about “The Replicants.”Generally, science fiction is one thing and humor is another. However it takes only a paragraph and a half before readers come upon Planet Schmoo, foretelling a cosmic collision of science and shtick. Rapidly, multiple characters are ...

I have been researching the world’s best reading locations and for those who readily admit to ongoing pressure with their family, work and other nefarious pursuits, I can recommend a lazy afternoon with your toe in the water and a good book in your hands. If you also need a little nap, that can be reinvigorating too. In terms of a good book, you can’t go past my latest page-turner, The Replicants, which pits the best brains on Earth against ...

Whenever you mention green aliens, people always think the worst; just look what they are attempting with poor Alicia. Nevertheless, I want you to give them the benefit of the doubt, as I did. Sure, the Schmooans are replicants and that’s not a nice thing but you have to give them credit for being ready to assimilate in the nicest possible way. They are polite, inquisitive and intelligent and they also know how to tap dance. One wonders how things ...

Here’s a collector’s item for you: the original dust jacket for my book before the moral majority stepped in and nobbled the designer’s best efforts. I’m sorry Ben, but the Americans just didn’t know what to do with a gal who had four breasts. Evidently they were unaware that all Schmoo gals were so endowed.Of course, this will not interfere with the expected charge to obtain copies of this thrilling page-turner and I know a little nudity will not discourage ...

Isn’t it always the way? You meet some aliens from outer space and find them to be charming, personable, erudite and eminently sociable. Then the nastiness kicks in and you have to chastise yourself for being so gullible.The Schmooans come from a planet that is widely recognized as the last stop before heaven and, if it wasn’t for their impressive sporting ability, they may never have come to Earth. However, the Intergalactic Games don’t come around that often and who ...