CHARACTERS

MY NAME IS BALOO. HOW DO YOU DO?

The Water Police were very lucky to have him. He scared the pants off most of the hardened criminals that used the Swan River as a highway for their drug runs. To say that he is also lovable is an understatement. Those five meals a day just kept coming, so he must have been sweet with someone. The good thing about Baloo is that he is a cobber who doesn’t slobber, although he has been known to drool when in the presence of female company; especially that Spanish mastiff bitch with the police dog squad.

THE TERMINATOR FROM TORONTO!

Fatima Khan can be the sweetest thing, and her comfort food recipes are to die for. However, behind that veil is a cold calculating woman with a licence to kill; and kill she does, with little compassion or regret. MI6’s fabulous femme, Floriana Keggler, is up for the challenge and ready to tackle the assassin. A rare feast for ladies everywhere— and their Book Club.

VANITY IS THE QUICKSAND OF REASON.

Thank you George Sand. Your astute observation inspired me to pen this collection of tragic stories that document the fall from grace of fifteen go-getters, who thought they had it all. Meet Christina Christou, a contemporary Greek goddess with the world at her feet. Then she met Tony Arge. Can I tell you that Arge and Tina is a whole new ball game?

WHAT A REVELATION!

Melanie Marple is related to one of the most loved amateur detectives of our time, but female reputations don’t cut the mustard at police headquarters. Nevertheless, this paradigm of determined tenacity delivers results that cannot be ignored by her male superiors. With her small team in the entertainment unit of Scotland Yard, Melanie pursues a maniac who is systematically killing-off big band groupies. Surely, the lady must be in line for her own TV series?

THEY CAME TO A LAND DOWN UNDER

With dreams and ambition, and who was to say their achievements wouldn’t exceed expectations? Bing, the giant Scot, carved out a home in the mountains, while the immigrant from Rhodes searched for the golden bonanza that would set him up for life. Even the recalcitrant Irishman, once he avoided the Paddy Wagon, could appreciate the opportunities being presented in this exciting new frontier.

All three protagonists are exclusively committed to this particular page-turner. However, personal appearances on late night talk shows will be considered, should the incentive be rewarding enough.

ALL THE GUYS CAN’T BE HEROES

Samuel Viper aka Sammy the Snake is not a nice person; nor his compatriots, Dom the Cat and Tony the Toothpick. It is fair to say that they contribute equally to the lawless background that distinguishes “Be Dead and Be Damned” from lesser lily-livered tomes. No punches are pulled as the mafia and other degenerates reach out for your understanding and approval. On the other hand, you might side with the horny honey from Homicide and her boss. It’s that kind of a book.

THE COOL DUDE FROM HOMELAND SECURITY!

His name is Calvin Swift and having to deal with disagreeable aliens is just part of the job. Keeping America safe is one thing but now the whole world is in peril and he’s the guy most likely. His relationship with delightful behavioural scientist Alicia Angelico adds spice to this tale and almost jeopardizes the book’s family
rating. If you don’t want to be replicated, this is the man you want in your corner.

THE GARRULOUS GUMSHOE FROM DOWN-UNDER!

Paddy Pest is Australia’s foremost super-sleuth and chick magnet. If you don’t believe me, just ask him. On top of that, his success rate transcends believability. If you have a sense of humour you won't want to put these books down, so don't wait for your retailer to mark them down. Not that anyone would want to enrage Mr. Pest in such a manner. Paddy appears exclusively in Pest Takes a Chance, The Lady on the Train, Pest on the Run, The Hero of Hucklebuck Drive and The Snoodle Contract.

THE LADY WITH THE LOVELY LUMPS!

Many reputable writers have already immortalized their favourite sleuth, from Philip Marlowe to Sam Spade. Even Maxwell Smart fits the legend, although he isn't as smart as PI Patrick Pesticide. Paddy Pest is completely indestructible, totally irresistible to women, sometimes inept and always politically incorrect. His adventures take him all around the world, often with his beautiful long-suffering companion by his side. Stormy Weathers is a covert agent with Australia's foremost intelligence agency and is always getting the gumshoe out of trouble. It’s Paddy and girl-power against the combined forces of evil and those who would harbour ambitions of world domination. Stormy is featured in Paddy’s People and supplies peripheral support in many of his yarns.

OTHER BROADS AND BABES!

You’ll meet them all. From the delightful French gendarme Yvette Baguette to the mysterious Russians—Gregoria Killanova and Nadia Nickoff: the minx from Minsk. Can you recognize Angelina in the line-up? There’s no end to the people that Paddy knows, or thinks he knows.