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I'M NOW WRITING FOR GROWN-UPS.

The target audience for my electrifying yarns has always been children under thirty. However, therehas been quite a bit of violence and implicit sex in my recent novels andrather than produce an unexpurgated version of my tomes, I am looking at a new market; not that I am abandoning my present fan base, who can sign-on for a course at the Burke Adult Center. Burke Village is situated on the U.S./Canadianborder in upstate New York.Yes, Canadians are welcome as long ...

PADDY GETS AROUND

So does the author. I was chuffed to find a fan in the wilds of the Philippines during my last visit to Bohol Island. Yes, they had heard all about the garrulous gumshoe and read some of his outrageous adventures. This was a big commitment because the add-on freight charge on books delivered through Singapore is substantial. It has been gratifying to learn that my stories have found their way from Guam to Guatemala and I thank you all from ...

THE BEST PLACE TO READ A GOOD BOOK!

There are some locations on Earth where your Kindle or E Book reader doesn’t work so well. If we ignore the fact that the photo above seems to indicate that the author is reading his own book, we can see how strong natural light would make an electronic device ineffective; and also a bit messy after you have returned from your swim. Your device is also unwieldy if you wish to read during sex or other physical activities.Actually, quite a ...

It’s time to own up.

Of the ten books that I have written, the above remains the most popular. When I wrote it in 2012, it wasn’t such a big deal. Then Paula Hawkins wrote her best-seller,“The Girl on the Train,” in 2015 and my sales took-off.Sure, one doesn’t always get what they think they are getting, but isn’t this an indictment on one’s concentration span? People are not paying attention. I experience this every day, especially with communications via mobile phone. I continually get ...

Pest Worx

Last week I was motoring through the hinterland on the Sunshine Coast of Queensland, when I saw this sign. I thought to myself “Why did I stop writing Paddy Pest yarns” After all; when something works, why change it?In truth, there is something in us all that craves change and I believe this is the reason I gave Paddy a rest and embraced new challenges. The first test was to graduate from short stories to full-length novels. For an advertising ...

ANOTHER FINALIST AWARD!!

Here we go again – another Finalist Award. This time I have been honoured by The Book Excellence Awards in Canada for “Be Dead and Be Damned.” I’ve always liked Canadians and consider them to be discerning people in many areas. And you can’t argue with their contribution to the arts – what an exciting experience to hear a Mountie singing on a horse.In this instance it’s a three-peat, as “The Replicants” and “The Snoodle Contract” also picked up this ...

JUNE IS A GREAT TIME FOR READING.

In Australia it’s too cold to do anything else. On the other side of the world it’s too hot. The above picture takes me back two years when I was bedded down in the Victorian snow fields. The drizzling rain had made the slopes uncomfortable and the barman’s strike at my lodge gave me few options. At the time I was weaning myself off the enduring adventures of Paddy Pest and looking for an alternative bunny to share some of ...

Schmuck the Jeweller

You’ve got to love a shopkeeper who reaches out to his customers. This pic was taken a few years ago when I was shopping for something nice for my beloved (at the time). In the end I got her a Hoover and, strangely, we parted company soon after that.When I reach out to my friends I usually have a book in my hand, with the guarantee that their money will be well spent. It doesn’t always work. As many of ...

IT’S THE YEAR OF THE DOG IN CHINATOWN.

Of course, my book wasn’t written about 2018. I take my readers way back to the sixties but, even then, a dog’s most defining characteristic was loyalty. You’ll find none of that in “Be Dead and Be Damned,” as most of the characters would kill you after they’ve kissed you; the art of the double-cross is grist for the mill for crime novelists.Would you accept a gratuitous brandy cleanser from a Chinaman with a dubious reputation? Certainly not, if you ...

MELBOURNE  A marvellous place for a murder

Or two! There are so many little nooks and crannies where you can bump someone off without fear or favour. It may be the world’s most liveable city but people also die here – quite often.“Be Dead and Be Damned” pulls no punches and I don’t subscribe to the politically correct world we now live in. In my book the wops do most of the killing and that’s how it was in the sixties. Hello mafia. Lock up your daughters. ...

LATE NEWS

The whodunit has received a recommendation from U.S. Review – this means the top 10% of material they review. I’m pretty happy with that. Here it is:Be Dead and Be Damned: Murder with Malice in Melbourne by Gerry BurkeiUniverse reviewed by Joe Kilgore "Then, of course, there were the lads back in the squad room. Naturally conservative, they would find it difficult to comprehend the motivation of a man wearing a dress." If you’re familiar with Burke’s previous work, you ...

ALL THIS MAN NEEDS IS A GOOD BOOK.

There are a few people who have a nose for trouble. The Belgian detective, Hercule Poirot is one. I am another. There are also certain places that attract people with murder on their mind, such as Marrakesh and Casablanca, where Signor Ferrari, owner of the Blue Parrot bar & café, gave Humphry Bogart such a hard time. Jimmy Stewart and Doris Day also had their troubles but as Doris so eloquently warbled “Que Sera Sera” (Whatever will Be, Will be).I ...

WHAT ABOUT SOME HOLIDAY HOMICIDE?

You’ve just spent Christmas with all your rellies and what is foremost on your mind? That’s right – murder. Since my heroic crime-fighter Paddy Pest took a well-earned rest from his pulp fiction adventures, the odds of getting away with murder have firmed dramatically. However, all that is about to change. Appointing Dave Klingendorf as the acting deputy commissioner was the smartest thing the Victoria Police ever did. Now we have a whodunit which is worthy of your leisure hours. ...

THESE ARE THE BAD GUYS YOU’LL MEET IN MY NEXT NOVEL.

Tony the Toothpick, Sammy the Snake and Dom the Cat! Tony sticks a toothpick in his victim’s nose after he has stabbed them in the back. Unsocial behaviour is part of their charm and you’re going to love all the mischief they get up to. You’ll need a nailfile to clean-up after you have whittled away at your fingertips, because the suspense in this one is riveting.The tome is called Be Dead and Be Damned and I’ll have more for ...

THE PERENNIAL PLACEGETTER!

We’ve done it again; another finalist award, our 6th. I don’t know what it takes to win the big one but I’ll keep trying. In any case I am chuffed to be awarded in the Science Fiction category because this is not my genre and it was my choice because it was a challenge.So much for “The Replicants.” This week I put my next novel into production and I am returning to crime fiction. You will hear more in next ...

5 STAR REVIEW.

The stars are out and shining on yours truly as I stump up for another novel, almost ready to go into production. There’ll be more on that later; meanwhile, think about reading my one venture into science fiction. I don’t think they’ll let me go there again.CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 5 STAR REVIEW.Reviewed By Christian Sia for Readers’ FavoriteThe Replicants by Gerry Burke is a gripping sci-fi story with a well-defined setting and great characters. The planet Schmoo, the last planet ...

“He has a well-furnished mind, an ingenious intellect, and a prodigious vocabulary dedicated to making readers laugh.”

My God, I think he’s talking about me. Yes, the US Review had a look at The Replicants and decided to give it the thumbs up. I’m so excited. They checked out the first chapter, last month, and decided to read on. I hope you have a similar attitude. Of course, you may have to read the book with the lights on because it gets scary in some places. Aliens with three eyes are always a worry. So, here’s the ...

The US Review

I’ve been reviewed and, once again, the US Review has been kind. Of course, this is only a first chapter review and I anticipate that a full review will arrive within the next few months. Here’s what they had to say about “The Replicants.”Generally, science fiction is one thing and humor is another. However it takes only a paragraph and a half before readers come upon Planet Schmoo, foretelling a cosmic collision of science and shtick. Rapidly, multiple characters are ...

PIER PRESSURE

I have been researching the world’s best reading locations and for those who readily admit to ongoing pressure with their family, work and other nefarious pursuits, I can recommend a lazy afternoon with your toe in the water and a good book in your hands. If you also need a little nap, that can be reinvigorating too. In terms of a good book, you can’t go past my latest page-turner, The Replicants, which pits the best brains on Earth against ...

WHY ARE MY HEROINES ALWAYS UNDER THE PUMP?

Whenever you mention green aliens, people always think the worst; just look what they are attempting with poor Alicia. Nevertheless, I want you to give them the benefit of the doubt, as I did. Sure, the Schmooans are replicants and that’s not a nice thing but you have to give them credit for being ready to assimilate in the nicest possible way. They are polite, inquisitive and intelligent and they also know how to tap dance. One wonders how things ...

THE REPLICANTS

Here’s a collector’s item for you: the original dust jacket for my book before the moral majority stepped in and nobbled the designer’s best efforts. I’m sorry Ben, but the Americans just didn’t know what to do with a gal who had four breasts. Evidently they were unaware that all Schmoo gals were so endowed.Of course, this will not interfere with the expected charge to obtain copies of this thrilling page-turner and I know a little nudity will not discourage ...

WE COME IN PEACE, OR SO THEY SAY

Isn’t it always the way? You meet some aliens from outer space and find them to be charming, personable, erudite and eminently sociable. Then the nastiness kicks in and you have to chastise yourself for being so gullible.The Schmooans come from a planet that is widely recognized as the last stop before heaven and, if it wasn’t for their impressive sporting ability, they may never have come to Earth. However, the Intergalactic Games don’t come around that often and who ...