I’ve been reviewed and, once again, the US Review has been kind. Of course, this is only a first chapter review and I anticipate that a full review will arrive within the next few months. Here’s what they had to say about “The Replicants.”
Generally, science fiction is one thing and humor is another. However it takes only a paragraph and a half before readers come upon Planet Schmoo, foretelling a cosmic collision of science and shtick. Rapidly, multiple characters are introduced who further this formulation of interstellar absurdity. The Schmooans are on their way to Earth to participate in intergalactic athletic games. Or, is something more sinister at play? If it is, trouble and comedy are both assured, since the earthlings and the space travelers seem incapable of passing up a potential pun. As the aliens begin to mix and mingle with their human hosts, sportsmanship and camaraderie are in danger of turning into something much darker.
If Author Burke’s past genre send-ups are any clue, which they most certainly are, hang on for a huge helping of hilarity. This initial chapter seems particularly apropos for the classic (and often misquoted) line from Betty Davis in All About Eve, “Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.” Davis actually said “night," but if you read past Burke’s opening chapter there’s every chance you’ll soon be giggling too much to care.
I have been researching the world’s best reading locations and for those who readily admit to ongoing pressure with their family, work and other nefarious pursuits, I can recommend a lazy afternoon with your toe in the water and a good book in your hands. If you also need a little nap, that can be reinvigorating too.
In terms of a good book, you can’t go past my latest page-turner, The Replicants, which pits the best brains on Earth against the invaders from Planet Schmoo. It’s pretty thought-provoking stuff and you’ll have to be careful you don’t fall in the water in shock and disbelief. If there are piranhas in the lake, perhaps you had better not dangle your toes after all.
If you are excited by the idyllic scene above, you may be interested to know that it is for sale in May, together with a house and shed, all on two acres in the great state of Georgia. Vladimir Putin can butt out because I am talking about down south in U.S.A. If you are interested, contact me and I’ll pass on your details to the present owner.
Why are my heroines always under the pump?
Posted by GB
Whenever you mention green aliens, people always think the worst; just look what they are attempting with poor Alicia. Nevertheless, I want you to give them the benefit of the doubt, as I did.
Sure, the Schmooans are replicants and that’s not a nice thing but you have to give them credit for being ready to assimilate in the nicest possible way. They are polite, inquisitive and intelligent and they also know how to tap dance. One wonders how things went terribly wrong but that’s what happens when I am calling the shots.
The main purpose of this month’s blog is to lay the groundwork for possible litigation and this might happen if your name is Binch, Laurie, Duffy, Komoneski, Edmeades, Greene, Feely, Bartholomew or Ronald Hump. Any relationship between these folks and the characters in my book is purely coincidental. However, I am sure they will still want to share my post with all their friends and relatives, who can purchase the book by logging on to my website. I always make things easy. I’m that kind of a guy.
Posted by GB
Here’s a collector’s item for you: the original dust jacket for my book before the moral majority stepped in and nobbled the designer’s best efforts. I’m sorry Ben, but the Americans just didn’t know what to do with a gal who had four breasts. Evidently they were unaware that all Schmoo gals were so endowed.
Of course, this will not interfere with the expected charge to obtain copies of this thrilling page-turner and I know a little nudity will not discourage my most fervent fans. Of course, there are some of you who have decidedly different tastes in women, so it is best you scrutinise the alternatives. The Miss Universe pageant on the lovely island of Bohol gave the world the opportunity to see some crumpet from other parts of the solar system. It’s pretty raunchy stuff.
We come in peace, or so they say
Posted by GB
Isn’t it always the way? You meet some aliens from outer space and find them to be charming, personable, erudite and eminently sociable. Then the nastiness kicks in and you have to chastise yourself for being so gullible.
The Schmooans come from a planet that is widely recognized as the last stop before heaven and, if it wasn’t for their impressive sporting ability, they may never have come to Earth. However, the Intergalactic Games don’t come around that often and who could pass up an opportunity to strut their stuff? Of course, this is only the start of my new novel and I am generous in giving you that much.
I did mention, last month, that I would introduce my new hero Cal Swift to you and, although I have done that, his details are limited. After all, we don't want to give him a swelled head. Why don't you just go online and buy the book and be the first in your street to purchase same?
Yes, The Replicants are now live online and would love to snuggle up in bed with you. They are actually quite cuddly for green people.